Sadness in children, teens, and young adults
Sadness shows up at every age, from early childhood to young adulthood and beyond. A lost toy, a first heartbreak, or the ache of homesickness can all bring heavy feelings. While painful in the moment, these experiences matter. Sadness helps us appreciate joy and build emotional strength to get through tough times.
Help processing sadness in children, teens, and young adults
If your child feels sad, the most helpful thing you can do is stay calm and let them know you’re there. You don’t need to fix everything right away. Just being present and listening makes a big difference. Gently ask them how they’re feeling, and let them share at their own pace. Try to keep their daily routine as normal as possible, and encourage healthy activities like going outside, resting, or spending time with someone they trust.
Signs sadness may be depression
But how can you tell when your child’s sadness is normal and when it might be more serious, like depression? If they seem down for a long time or sadness starts to affect their daily life, it might be time to take a closer look. Sometimes, signs of depression show up as changes in behavior, like withdrawing from friends or losing interest in activities.
Depression in children is becoming more common, and it’s important to catch it early. You don’t need to wait until things are serious to ask for help. If something feels off, it’s okay to speak up. Reaching out can prevent symptoms from getting worse and show your child they don’t have to face hard feelings alone.
Many pediatricians now screen for depression during checkups. These checks are especially critical in patients 12 and older, or when there are other health concerns as well.
Learn more about sadness at your child's age
Sadness in early childhood (0-5 years)
Young children often feel big emotions, and they’re learning how to express them. Some can tell you how they feel, while others may show it through their actions. They may feel intense sadness due to:
- Changes at home or in the family
- Family difficulties and stress
- Getting sick or hurt
- Losing a pet or loved one
What can I do?
If your little one seems sad and there’s no clear reason, try:
- Offering extra attention and comfort
- Gently asking about their feelings, if they’re able to express them
When should I be concerned about sadness?
Watch for signs like:
- Sadness that lasts more than a week or two
- Complaints of stomachaches, headaches, or other pains
- Changes in sleep or eating habits
- Clingy or withdrawn behavior
- Frequent crying or temper tantrums
- Loss of interest in favorite activities
- Ongoing grumpiness or irritability
Where can I get help for sadness?
- Talk to your child's doctor for expert guidance
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
Sadness in school-age children (6-11 years)
As kids grow, their world gets bigger with new experiences, friendships, and pressures. School can bring excitement, but also stress. At this age, children are learning how to handle tough emotions like sadness and may need extra support to get through them.
What can I do about sadness?
If your child seems down more than usual:
- Give them some extra attention and care
- Listen to them and be curious about their feelings. Ask questions to help them identify and understand the source of their sadness
- Let them know it's OK to be sad at times
- Offer comfort and compassion but don't try to "fix" what's causing their sadness (unless it's unsafe or dangerous)
- Help them identify ways to make themselves feel better, such as a physical or creative activity
- Make sure they have what they need for self-care: sleep, healthy foods, exercise, time for play
When should I be concerned about sadness?
Reach out for help if your child:
- Is sad or hopeless for more than a week or two
- Has unexplained physical aches and pains
- Eats or sleeps more or less than usual
- Becomes withdrawn or loses interest in things they used to enjoy
- Acts out at home or school
- Struggles with grades or doesn’t want to go to school
- Is often irritable or combative
- Talks about death or hurting themselves
Where can I get help?
- Talk to your child's doctor for expert guidance
- Ask your child's school about what they're seeing. They might offer resources that can help
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
A mental health expert can assess your child to learn more about their sadness and its underlying causes. They may recommend cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps your child recognize and manage their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, medication is also part of treatment.
Ohana uses a range of evidence-based treatments. We know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment options.
Sadness in teens (12-18 years)
Teenagers often feel things more intensely than they did as kids. That’s partly because their brains are still developing, including the areas that help manage emotions. Add in school stress, social pressures, and life changes, and it’s no surprise that many teens feel down occasionally.
But sometimes, it’s more than just a rough patch. Depression affects as many as one in five teens, and girls are twice as likely to have a diagnosis. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to adolescent mental health signs and symptoms. Always reach out when something doesn’t feel right.
What can I do about sadness?
To support your teen:
- Be available to listen without judgment
- Let them know that sadness is normal and don’t minimize what they’re going through
- Offer support, but don’t rush to “fix” things, unless there’s a safety concern
- Encourage them to talk to someone they trust
- Make sure they’re practicing good self-care, including sleep, nutrition, and exercise
When should I be concerned about sadness?
You should be concerned if your teen:
- Seems sad or hopeless for more than two weeks
- Cries often or without a clear reason
- Eats or sleeps more or less than usual
- Withdraws from friends and activities
- Struggles with grades or doesn’t want to go to school
- Seems irritable, negative, or self-critical
- Talks about death or hurting themselves
Where can I get help for sadness?
- Talk to your teen's doctor for expert guidance
- Ask your child's school about what they're seeing. They might offer resources that can help
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
A mental health expert can assess what’s going on and provide a diagnosis. Your teen’s treatment might include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps them recognize and manage their thoughts and feelings. In some cases, medication can also help.
Ohana uses a range of evidence-based treatments. We know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment options. Learn more about our treatment approaches.
Sadness in young adults (19-25 years)
Young adulthood is full of major changes — college, jobs, relationships, and moving out — which can bring a lot of stress. Sadness can show up during these major transitions or after setbacks. Sometimes, it shows up for no clear reason at all.
What can I do about sadness?
Even if your young adult lives away from home, you can support them by:
- Listening without judgment
- Letting them know sadness is normal, but not brushing off what they’re feeling
- Avoiding jumping in to fix things unless there’s a safety concern
- Encouraging them to talk with someone they trust
When should I be concerned?
Encourage your young adult to seek help if they:
- Feels sad for more than two weeks
- Seem withdrawn or lose interest in things they used to enjoy
- Are more irritable or cry often
- Have changes in sleep or eating habits
- Talk about feeling worthless, guilty, or hopeless
- Mention thoughts of self-harm or death
Where can I get help for sadness?
Even though young adults over 18 manage their own care, you can still support them. Suggest that they:
- Talk with their primary care doctor for expert guidance
- Seek university mental health services
- Connect with an employee assistance program (EAP) if they have access through an employer
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
A mental health expert can assess what’s going on and make a diagnosis. Your child’s treatment might include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps them recognize and manage their thoughts and feelings. In some cases, medication can also help.
Ohana uses a range of evidence-based treatments. We know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment approaches.
