Social troubles in young people
We’re all wired to connect with others — to talk, play, share, and feel like we belong. In fact, our social development begins from birth. Babies start by bonding with caregivers, and over time, they learn how to communicate, relate to others, and form friendships. These early connections lay the groundwork for teenage years, young adulthood, and beyond. Our relationships play a major role in our confidence and emotional health.
If your child is having trouble making or keeping social connections, it can be painful for them and you. These struggles might be a sign that something else is going on, such as developmental delays, anxiety, trauma, or learning differences.
Help with social situations for children, teens, and young adults
One of the most important things you can do for your child is simply spend time with them. Notice how they interact with others and how they feel in social situations. Encourage connections with peers without pressure, such as playdates, clubs, sports, or other group activities. If concerns come up, be available to listen. Your early support can make a big difference.
But if things don’t improve or become serious, it’s okay to ask for help. A mental health expert can uncover what’s going on and guide you through the next steps. With the right care, your child can grow and feel more confident socially.
Learn more about social troubles at your child’s age
Social troubles in early childhood (0–5 years)
Babies depend on us for safety, comfort, and connection. Over time, they start to notice other people’s feelings and actions. They become more aware of how their behavior affects those around them.
Every child grows in their own way. Some are outgoing from the start, while others are more reserved. If your young child is having a hard time with social interactions, it could be related to their development. They may not have the words to express what they need or may not fully understand social cues yet. Some children struggle to manage big feelings, which can come out as temper tantrums.
What can I do about social troubles?
To help your child build social skills, you can:
- Spend quality time with them and build a strong relationship
- Model healthy relationships with friends and family
- Offer opportunities for social play, like playground visits or story time
- Notice what kinds of social situations they enjoy most, such as small groups or one-on-one interactions
- Talk to them about how they relate to others
- Show them how to handle conflict in respectful ways
When should I be concerned about social troubles?
It may be time to seek help if your child:
- Is more focused on objects than people
- Avoids interaction with others or seems disconnected
- Repeats behaviors like tapping or fidgeting in ways that seem uncontrollable
- Doesn’t show empathy or seem to understand others’ feelings
- Has intense outbursts that are hard to calm
- Is aggressive
- Has been asked to leave daycare, preschool, or playdates because of their behavior
- Hurts other children or animals
- Acts in ways that make social situations difficult for your family
Where can I get help for social troubles?
- Talk to your child’s doctor about your experience and for guidance
- Check in with your child’s preschool or daycare about what they're seeing
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
A mental health professional can help figure out what’s going on. At Ohana, we know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment options.
Social troubles in school-age children (6-11 years)
In school, kids begin to form more friendships and social groups. They’re learning how to share, take turns, and handle disagreements. It’s normal for them to have occasional struggles or drama with friends. Sometimes they’re kind, and sometimes they’re not. Most of the time, these actions are a normal part of growing up. But if your child often feels left out in social situations or has a hard time making friends, it may be a sign they need some extra help.
What can I do about social troubles?
Here’s how you can support your school-age child:
- Show what good relationships look like by staying connected to your own friends and family
- Remember that their social style may be different from yours
- Talk with them about what’s happening in their social life
- Ask questions gently, without pushing too hard
- Avoid criticizing or labeling their behavior
- Reassure them that you’re there to listen
- Encourage them to join clubs, sports, or activities they enjoy
- Teach them how to handle disagreements calmly and kindly
- Set healthy limits on screen time
When should I be concerned about social troubles?
Your child may need extra support if they:
- Have a big change in their friend group
- Have trouble making or keeping friends their age
- Avoid school areas like the playground or lunchroom
- Don’t want to go to school at all
- Are excluded from parties, playdates, or other activities
- Always choose to be alone instead of with others
- Seem sad, angry, or withdrawn
- Have frequent emotional outbursts
- Struggle with teachers or peers
- Get in trouble for aggressive behavior
Where can I get help?
- Talk to your child’s doctor about your experience and for guidance
- Talk with your child’s teacher and school counselor about what they're seeing. They might offer resources that can help.
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
A mental health professional can evaluate your child and help figure out what’s going on. There may be an underlying concern, like anxiety, bullying, mood disorders, autism, or something else. They’ll work with you to find the best treatment options, which may include parent coaching, therapy, or medication.
Ohana uses a range of treatments that are based on evidence and experience. We know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment options.
Social troubles in teens (12–18 years) and young adults (19–25 years)
Teenagers and young adults often want to be social. But the pressure to fit in can be intense. Some build friendships easily. Others struggle with loneliness, bullying, peer pressure, or the pain of shifting relationships. For young adults who moved out for school or work, making new friends can be especially tough.
Even when it seems overwhelming, most young people find their way forward with time, support, and patience.
What can I do about social troubles?
You can support your teen or young adult by being present without hovering. Try to:
- Listen to what they’re going through
- Ask questions without pressure or judgment
- Avoid minimizing or criticizing their feelings
- Let them know you’re always there to talk or help
- Accept that their social style may be different from yours
- Encourage — but don’t force — involvement in group activities
- Talk about peer pressure and how to handle it
When should I be concerned about social troubles?
Some teens open up easily. Others keep things to themselves. It helps to know common adolescent mental health signs and symptoms. They may need extra support if they:
- Show major, sudden changes in mood or friendships
- Don’t have any close connections
- Are being bullied
- Lose interest in things they used to enjoy
- Are aggressive or violent
- Act in unusual or disturbing ways
- Talk about self-harm or suicide
- Avoid school, work, or other responsibilities
- Neglect basic hygiene
- Are secretive or withdrawn
- Spend time on harmful or violent websites
Where can I get help with social troubles?
- Talk to your child’s primary care doctor for expert guidance
- Seek school or university mental health services
- Connect with an employee assistance program (EAP) if they have access through an employer
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
A mental health professional can help uncover what’s behind your child’s social struggles, whether it’s anxiety, depression, ADHD, trauma, autism, or something else. They’ll guide you toward the right next steps. Support may include:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to change negative thoughts and actions
- Individual talk therapy
- Group therapy to build social skills
- Medication, if needed
Ohana uses a range of evidence-based treatments. We know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment options.
