Withdrawn behavior in young people
It’s normal for children and teens to want some time alone. Everyone has their way of recharging. Some kids are naturally quiet and prefer low-key activities. Others are more outgoing and talkative. But if a normally quiet child becomes even more withdrawn, or a social child suddenly pulls away, it may be a sign that something deeper is going on.
Withdrawing from others can be a way for young people to cope with big changes, stress, trauma, anxiety, depression, or other challenges. Sometimes, this kind of mental health isolation may link to substance use. Getting early support can make a big difference for your child and family.
Help for withdrawn children, teens, and young adults
If you’re worried about your child pulling away, you’re not alone — and there are things you can do to help. Start by gently checking in with them and creating space for open conversations. Keep daily routines steady and offer chances to connect through shared activities, family time, or social outings. Most importantly, trust your instincts. If something feels off, talk to your child’s doctor or a mental health professional. With the right support, your child can begin to reconnect and feel better.
Learn more about withdrawn behavior at your child’s age
Withdrawn behavior in early childhood (0–5 years)
Young children usually enjoy being around family and playing with other kids. These social interactions help them learn language, build creativity, and grow confidence.
What can I do about withdrawn behavior?
- Model healthy interactions by talking and engaging with others
- Encourage pretend play — it helps kids express themselves and gain confidence
- Plan fun family activities in which your child can participate
- Arrange playdates, visit playgrounds, or attend parent-child group activities
- Avoid labeling your child as “shy,” “quiet,” or “introverted”
- Let them know it’s okay to talk about their feelings
When should I be concerned about withdrawn behavior?
Talk to an expert if your child:
- Doesn’t show interest in socializing or playing with others
- Often plays alone when with other kids
- Seems more interested in objects than people
- Suddenly becomes more withdrawn than usual
Where can I get help for withdrawn behavior?
- Talk to your child’s pediatrician for expert guidance
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
Because young children can’t always express how they feel, a mental health professional will mostly work with you. This doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong as a parent. It just means that a different parenting approach may help your child feel safer and more connected. The right support can lower stress for both you and your child.
Ohana uses a range of evidence-based treatments. We know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment options.
Withdrawn behavior in school-age children (6–11 years)
As children start school, they have more chances to interact with others and participate in activities. These social experiences can help them grow emotionally, intellectually, and socially. Some kids may love these opportunities. But others may feel overwhelmed or anxious.
What can I do about withdrawn behavior?
- Show healthy communication in your own relationships
- Plan family outings and activities that include your child
- Encourage them to try group activities, such as clubs, art classes, or sports
- Let them know they can talk about their feelings
- Don’t label them as “shy,” “quiet,” or “introverted”
When should I be concerned about withdrawn behavior?
It might be time to talk to a professional if your child:
- Avoids the lunchroom or playground at school
- Doesn’t want to go to parties or after-school events
- Struggles with their teachers or peers
- Mostly wants to be alone instead of with friends or family
- Suddenly becomes withdrawn after being outgoing
- Seems uninterested in activities they used to enjoy
Some children may push others away because they struggle with communication, self-control, or social skills. Underlying concerns like anxiety, bullying, behavior disorders, or autism could be factors.
Where can I get help for withdrawn behavior?
- Talk to your child’s pediatrician for expert guidance
- Check with your child’s school for support resources
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
A mental health expert can help identify the underlying cause of your child’s withdrawn behavior. Therapy for younger children often involves working with parents. For older kids, individual or group therapy may be helpful.
Ohana uses a range of evidence-based treatments. We know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment options.
Withdrawn behavior in teens (12–18 years) and young adults (19–25 years)
It’s common for teens to want alone time, especially as they grow more independent. Some may retreat to their room or prefer solo activities like video games. Introverted young adults may need quiet time to recharge.
Still, they usually enjoy spending time with friends. If your child begins avoiding family and peers, or their behavior changes suddenly, it could point to a deeper emotional health concern.
What can I do about withdrawn behavior?
- Check in — ask about your child’s friends, hobbies, and interests
- Listen without judgment
- Let them know they can talk about their feelings
- Keep your home environment supportive and open
- Model healthy social behavior
- Plan family time, but don’t push too hard
- Encourage group activities without forcing them
- Keep good self-care routines around sleep, screen time, meals, and exercise
When should I be concerned about withdrawn behavior?
Sometimes, withdrawn behavior is a short-term reaction to a difficult situation, such as an argument with a friend or a breakup. Other times, it’s a sign of something more persistent. Your teen or young adult may need to talk to an expert if they:
- Are withdrawn for a long time
- Show a major shift in behavior or personality
- Have few or no social connections
- Talk or act in strange, worrisome ways
- Express thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- Don’t participate in daily life, like school or work
- Neglect personal hygiene
- Act secretively
- Visit violent or harmful websites
These adolescent mental health signs and symptoms may point to a more serious issue, such as social anxiety, substance use, trauma, depression, or a behavior disorder.
Where can I get help for withdrawn behavior?
- Contact your teen or young adult’s primary care doctor for expert guidance
- Use school or university mental health services
- Connect with an employee assistance program (EAP) if they have access through an employer
- Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01
A mental health expert will typically meet with your teen or young adult alone. But they may still need your input to uncover what’s going on and guide treatment.
Ohana uses a range of evidence-based treatments. We know that no two families are alike, so we’ll get to know you and your child through an evaluation. This way, we choose a care approach that works for your needs. Learn more about our treatment options.
