I’m worried about my young adult (19–25 years old)

Young adults are experiencing personal growth, major life changes, and are making a lot more of their own decisions about those changes. They might be starting college or a career, moving out on their own, managing money, developing serious relationships­, and generally are working on becoming more independent and self-reliant. The transitions and decisions that come with this life stage can feel challenging, stressful, and even overwhelming. Your young adult is:

• Increasing their abilities to problem-solve, think critically, and plan
• Increasing their understanding of risks and consequences
• Becoming a more independent thinker, less guided by their peer group
• Developing more intimate relationships
• Building a more adult relationship with you

How can I help?

Children become legal adults at age 18, but you can still be there for your child by providing love, support, and, when appropriate and welcomed, guidance. When it comes to helping their children navigate hard times, parents have more expertise than they think. Here are some steps you can try to help your young adult manage challenges:

• Keep in contact and ask how they’re doing with their studies, work, friends, and other activities
• Talk openly about major life changes, what they involve, and feelings that might arise
• Let them know that it’s normal to feel sad, homesick, or a bit lost at times

When should I worry?

The distance that develops as your child becomes a young adult, either literally if they have left home or emotionally if they haven’t, may make it challenging to know how they are managing. When you do connect, here are some behaviors and signs of which to be aware of:

• Anxiety that causes extreme distress or seems out of proportion
• Isolation or withdrawal from people, activities, and usual interests
• Sadness that lasts more than two weeks
• Anger that is more frequent, lasts longer, or is accompanied by aggression or violence
• New or worsened academic or workplace troubles
• Signs of or talk about self-harm
• Alcohol or drug use

Where can I get help?

If your young adult has emotions and behaviors that are ongoing and affect their daily life and relationships, talk with them about seeking help right away. Once they are 18, you no longer have access to their medical information unless they give permission, but you can support them and suggest these paths for help:

• Talk with their primary care doctor
• If they are in college, seek university mental health services
• If they are working, connect with an employee assistance program (EAP), if one is available
• Contact Ohana at (831) OHANA01

Ohana is built on a breakthrough idea: mental illness is always treatable and can often be prevented. Mental fitness — like physical fitness — can be developed and sustained.